Many conversations start with a question!
How are you? How have you been? What have you been up to? And so on.
How did you feel when you were asked the questions? Did you feel like Oh Jeeze no!
We have all been there particularly when things have not been going so well. We have all had those moments…some moments lasting longer than others..
How do those moments change us? Have we become more than one person?
Different with different people…
I come across many people who tell me they are different people when they are at home than when they are at work.
Its not surprising to hear this I hear you say. Many of us show up differently given different circumstances.
The problem is who are we really?
The Questions of Faith and Fear
How do we show up each day?
What do we want to show and importantly what do we want to hide?
What do we want people to think of us?
What are we afraid of if we really show who we are?
Scorecards are life cards!
The thing is from the moment we were born we had a scorecard…how heavy, how long. What color eyes…… and so on.
It continued through infancy through to schools and sports, what were we good at what did we suck at!!
Remember first impressions and lasting impressions?
Life is a scorecard and yet when we get to work we are often different, we give lesser of ourselves and to our co-workers in many cases much less and yet…..
Work and Life
Productivity -Be the best you can be
Attendance -Be punctual when meeting friends
Quality -Be present and attentive
Safety -Do no harm to others – build relationships
Discipline -Fairness and honesty – Always
You see the thing is that each defines you and they cannot be separated:
Are all ONE and the only thing you have to decide is whether faith of fear separates the REAL you from showing up.
HRMexplorer November 1st 2014
Picture courtesy of
Part of The 4 stages of leadership – see my link http://wp.me/pTp83-lN
This blog is about the 6 phases of relationships and follows under Personal Reflection in my 4 stages of leadership model.
Phase 1 – Relationship with me! – Realization.
- What kind of relationship do I want to have with myself?
- Do I like who I am?
- Am I positive or negative in what I see or do?
- Do I even like ME and is this who I always want to be?
- Am I stuck in my own emotions and do I want to change?
- Do I know what I want from myself?
- Is the present person I am harming others?
Develop the vision of who you want to be.
Phase 2 – Relationships with my community – my Mask.
- Do people feel positively or negatively towards me?
- What do they see in my actions and behaviors?
- Does a different part of me come out when I am in my community of family, friends, coworkers and community?
- Do I even let them into my world or do I keep them out?
- Do they believe or trust me?
- Do I even trust myself?
- Do they want to be with me? – Do I want to be with me?
- Start to seek out others to define existing and future reality of who I need and want to be. Indeed is there a positive future if I do not seek help from others?
Develop oneness – get rid of different masks– look for support.
Phase 3 – Attraction – develop the person you like and need to become.
- Give yourself permission that it’s possible to be different.
- Release the chains that hold you in the past and move to the community that will help you move to your vision.
- Find the communities you need to be part off and seek help and develop new relationships that are trusting and supportive.
- Develop faith over fear for the change that is needed and yet to come.
Change is not the option the only option is whether you have the courage to choose it.
Phase 4 – Lets Hang out – Staying with your new community.
- Continue to develop the “likeability” and goodness factor.
- Hang out with people who engage and promote the person you have always wanted to become (and needed to become.)
- Be with people who support and reinforce who you are becoming.
- Start to behave not how others expect you but how you need to develop the new you.
Define your character based, not on what others expect you too, but in the knowledge that you are accountable for your own actions.
Phase 5 – Developing Awesomeness.
- Continue to develop and sustain your character through higher levels of trusting relationships.
- Remember that by becoming awesome you develop an ever-increasing community that sustains lifelong relationships.
- Reestablish relationships with those love ones that were harmed
- Know that by becoming awesome your actions will start to serve others and not yourself.
The first stage of servant leadership.
Phase 6 – SuperAwsome.
- Become a champion of memorable relationships.
- Share your experiences with others so that they can also be inspired.
The path to developing leadership in others.
At this time of year when we take time out for the holiday season it is often a time when we reflect on… memories of yesteryear.
Memories of life long ago, of the good times and the struggles.
It makes no difference how old we are.
Of people we met and those that we lost.
Of dreams we had and intentions and determinations.
Of hopes and desires.
Life is not something that we can ever determine no matter how hard we plan.
Life is for the living and never for the winning.
Life makes us who we are.
No matter who we are or what has become of us.
Whatever happened along the way will remain with us forever.
Memories are forever.
Memories deliver the moments that seem it was just like yesterday
I have been to four funerals. Not a typical week thank goodness.
When I looked around in those churches I am mindful of what is said about the people who are being celebrated.
What they did in their lives, who they were, and who really loved them.
Our lives are mixed with stuff that has little consequence.
We give too much energy away to those who want to take.
We pay too much attention to those who want to throw stones and take away our energy.
Those who all to often talk and judge and add no value to the community they criticize.
Those whose soul is sad.
Going to funerals is not what we look forward to, but it is a reminder of the character we leave behind, the father the mother the son the daughter. The soldier the sailor the airman the firefighter. All are heroes to someone.
So when we move on to the next life, what life and memories do we leave behind?
And did we make a real positive difference to others who we met along the way.
What will people say about you?