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Truth or Secret!


As a blogger I am fortunate to have a number of folks’ who talk to me about what I write. This is one of their stories.

This blog may well reach out to many of us who have had those moments when we had to decide Truth or Secret. This may be YOUR STORY TOO…

  • Which can you cope with?
  • What do you REALLY want to KNOW?
  • If we knew could we ever FORGET?
  • If we knew could we ever FORGIVE?
  • Would it make us STRONGER?
  • Would it make us WEAKER?
  • Would it destroy who we ARE?
  • Would it define our CHARCTER for BETTER or WORSE?

Life has given all of us this CROSS ROAD and yet many of us HIDE truth and SECRET away for it is easier not to DEAL with REALITY.

Sometimes, we believe that not knowing is better than dealing with the the REALITY of TRUTH.

And yet…… those who don’t want to know will always remember… LINGERING DOUBTS LAST A LIFE TIME….

Do we REALLY believe that not KNOWING is the coping mechanism of LIFE?

Sometimes TRUTH is to damn HARD to cope with and too HURTFUL that we may never RETURN to who we ARE.

Sometimes the SECRET we keep is all the TRUTH we need and KNOW that the TWISTS and BENDS of life MAKES us WHO WE ARE!

The TRUTH is we all HAVE SECRETS the question is has HOW DID IT MAKE US BETTER PEOPLE…. Did it BUILD us or DIMINISH us?

Dedicated to all those who went through that dark tunnel! Thanks for sharing the journey.

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The 6 phases of relationships


RelationshipBlogImage2Part of  The 4 stages of leadership – see my link http://wp.me/pTp83-lN

This blog is about the 6 phases of relationships and follows under Personal Reflection in my 4 stages of leadership model.

Phase 1 – Relationship with me! – Realization.

  • What kind of relationship do I want to have with myself?
  • Do I like who I am?
  • Am I positive or negative in what I see or do?
  • Do I even like ME and is this who I always want to be?
  • Am I stuck in my own emotions and do I want to change?
  • Do I know what I want from myself?
  • Is the present person I am harming others?

Develop the vision of who you want to be.

Phase 2 – Relationships with my community – my Mask.

  • Do people feel positively or negatively towards me?
  • What do they see in my actions and behaviors?
  • Does a different part of me come out when I am in my community of family, friends, coworkers and community?
  • Do I even let them into my world or do I keep them out?
  • Do they believe or trust me?
  • Do I even trust myself?
  • Do they want to be with me? – Do I want to be with me?
  • Start to seek out others to define existing and future reality of who I need and want to be. Indeed is there a positive future if I do not seek help from others?

Develop oneness – get rid of different masks– look for support.

Phase 3 – Attraction – develop the person you like and need to become.

  • Give yourself permission that it’s possible to be different.
  • Release the chains that hold you in the past and move to the community that will help you move to your vision.
  • Find the communities you need to be part off and seek help and develop new relationships that are trusting and supportive.
  • Develop faith over fear for the change that is needed and yet to come.

Change is not the option the only option is whether you have the courage to choose it.

Phase 4 – Lets Hang out – Staying with your new community.

  • Continue to develop the “likeability” and goodness factor.
  • Hang out with people who engage and promote the person you have always wanted to become (and needed to become.)
  • Be with people who support and reinforce who you are becoming.
  • Start to behave not how others expect you but how you need to develop the new you.

Define your character based, not on what others expect you too, but in the knowledge that you are accountable for your own actions.

Phase 5 – Developing Awesomeness.

  • Continue to develop and sustain your character through higher levels of trusting relationships.
  • Remember that by becoming awesome you develop an ever-increasing community that sustains lifelong relationships.
  • Reestablish relationships with those love ones that were harmed
  • Know that by becoming awesome your actions will start to serve others and not yourself.

The first stage of servant leadership.

Phase 6 – SuperAwsome.

  • Become a champion of memorable relationships.
  • Share your experiences with others so that they can also be inspired.

The path to developing leadership in others.

 

‪ Picture courtesy of www.ashworthcreative.com

 

 

 

Preparing to live, or preparing to die


faithOctober was a rough month for our family; the news that our younger sister’s husband (age 50) has lung cancer was a stark reminder that life is precious and not ours to squander.

Just saying the C word is scary, now our family like many is going to face the C word.

This young man, never sick a day of his life, was told he has lung cancer and the diagnosis is dim.

Facing, doctor appointments, tests, surgery, and preparing to perhaps never working again.  The odds are against him.  Never to see a grandchild puts things into perspective.

For me, something told me when he got sick; do not ignore the signs, and then something told me to have faith. I sent my younger sister a book “Believe” was the title.  She told me in the hospital, as we waited for her husband in surgery, “I tried to read it, and I would start crying, I never got through it.”

Her high school sweet heart, friend, husband, a father, my sister was preparing for the worse.

Their reverend met with them several times, (discussing his last will and testament) their friends stopped by to show support, and family came, we are all committed to help in any way.

The day came, our family, his children, his brother, friends, and relatives, sat, paced, and watched the screen in the waiting room for hours.  Can you imagine what goes through your mind waiting for a doctor or nurse to come talk to you, it was brutal!

The hospitals I think believe that those screens showing progress are helpful but as the hours flow by I am not so sure. God please thank those physicians who spend ours without break doing major surgery.

All I could think about the previous Sunday morning, watching Joel Osteen broadcast:  Faith, not Fear.  He said:

Your situation may look impossible, but don’t ever rule out the favor of God.”  I believed we were in Gods favor that day. 

The doctor came to the waiting room, straight out of surgery to deliver the message, we all gathered to hear the news.

My younger sister with tears streaming down her face, so scared, his children gripping their hands together stood with no facial expressions.  We all heard the words, the surgery went well, we did take one lung, due to infection and we believe the cancer was contained.

Our heavy hearts were finally lightened.

Today, my brother-in-law is doing great, recovering slowly, but progressing everyday!  I can’t explain why he was in God’s favor that day, but I am very thankful he was.

My brother in law is also a carpenter. We have hope and faith that he will have many years ahead of him.

 

Sister Mae I

Managing Employee Representation


peoplesvoiceReducing unnecessary deceptively attractive opposition to change 

 Some time ago I did a great deal of work on this subject with a colleague.

It is true though that the context never changes. So with that said here are some thoughts:

  1. Remember that some conflict is inevitable. Employee representatives are in the business to secure objectives, which are sometimes different from management.
  2. Consider that the priorities of many employees who are NOT managers are PRIMARILY to their families. The priorities of those who are managers are frequently their CAREERS.
  3. Don’t assume that every employee representative is an anarchist or internal terrorist.
  4. Remember that sometimes employees’ representatives simply “fire the bullets on behalf of someone else!”

So:

  1. Be prepared to explain and consult fully not just the decisions but the rationale behind them.
  2. Ensure that YOU also TALK to the employees not just the employee representatives. NEVER forget they are your employees!
  3. Where the employee representative resists you talking to your employees RESIST they have no rights to this.
  4. INVEST time in your employees and explain how the business is going. They also have a stake in the success if for no other reason their paycheck.
  5. Remember that the business also affects the employee and their family whether in good times or bad.
  6. Communicate regularly with your employees. Even sending letters to the employees’ homes makes lots of sense. Remember families influence your employees sometimes more than you the employer.
  7. Ensure that you give the opportunity for employee representatives to talk to you on a regular basis not just when you want something from them.
  8. Make sure when you talk to them you give them the opportunity to discuss what is going on. It is a TWO WAY dialogue.
  9. Make sure you know the difference between:
    1. COMMUNICATING – informing
    2. CONSULTING – Asking
    3. NEGOTIATING – Bargaining

i.     And let them know which part of the process you and they are taking part!!

10. Let everyone know when the informing, asking and bargaining phases stop and then STOP

Original collaboration on this and thanks to Andy Sargent

When growing up means losing our innocence


Love to a 5 year old little boy:
When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore, so my grandfather does it for her all the time now.    He must really Love her!

Earning money to a six year old:
A six year old boy came over to watch the dogs, while I was working in the yard one Saturday, he was happy to know he was going to earn $2 for the hour.  When his playmate ask him to share it with her, he replied no, I worked for this money.  She said “well, it’s not much money anyway”!  The little boy said, “it’s more than you made today”!

For the love of children:
Recently I took a friend’s children to a craft day at the local toy store, they must have had strict orders not to ask me to buy anything.  So, before leaving to the store, they both looked at me and said, “you don’t have to buy us anything unless you want to”!  How could I not!

Sister Mae

 

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