Monthly Archives: August 2012
Where drama stops and real conversations of the heart begin
Where the development of you is first and always a priority”.
I have never met anyone who has not had to live with drama or trauma. So it is part of life and part of the living.
The number of times I have had conversations in my role as business/hr professional /confidant is countless.
“My boss always pushes me to my limits”.
“I don’t think they hear the pressure I am under”.
“My relationship with…sucks”.
It makes me feel undervalued and not worthy. I am not being “seen or heard”.
I don’t have a voice! It is like I don’t exist.
I wonder how much is due to the perception of the person themselves on others.
Has there been any real attempt to “understand the people they are talking about”!
All to often our past experiences continue to cloud how we think today. How co-workers treated us then has given us a mental model that it will always be like that wherever we go or work.
Many relationships are “frozen in the wrong moment”. A moment that has long gone and now so fixated in our mind it stops us seeing and being in the moment of now!
Few of us want to live in the past and for many leaving that behind will allow them to breathe fresh and renewed air and ENERGY. It is also fundamental in allowing us to regenerate our mind and spirit and take us on our journey to where we want to go into the future.
We have to stop thinking “as it was’ but pause and reflect as it HAS to be.
Life is for living and forming breathtaking relationships that are forever memorable!
Every day ask yourself how will I bring the best of me into what I do.
All too often we want to fix other people BEFORE we fix what we need to work on!
In Her book “ Healing Trauma” Patricia O’Gorman PHD offers us coping strategies to “Learn to Live in the moment” Her thoughts on the need for us all to “self Parent” reminds us of the need to take care of ourselves.
It would do us all a power of good to do some of what she calls “ Soothing exercises that repair and restore” and learning thought replacement.
Everyone who wants to get a kick-start by looking at how they can improve their own lives and All Human Resource folks and indeed “Managers of People” should read what she has to say. Sometimes the answers are not where we think they are!!
Reference and ideas taken from the book “ Healing Trauma” available at the following website:
During our conversation I was asked why I “flinch” when I heard HR “labeled” with the title of policy and procedure maker and the department of the pink slip! They (sadly) said that they have come to believe that their HR departments are like that.
The conversation was much about the fact that HR either stops them (as managers of people) doing what they want to with the people who work for them and slowing up progress with many forms and convoluted processes. The sad fact is that HR gets in the way of people doing their work.
The conversation went on about HR tending to support the status quo and hierarchies of seniority and payments for tenure. The list was lengthy.
They listened to my stories of conversations without policies and discussions about heart and soul and mission, about simple yet deep conversations.
On my door it says:
“When you enter here all drama stops and meaningful conversations start”.
When you enter my office discussions are about:
- Making your last year before retirement the best years of your working life.
- How I can help you identify the very best talent within you but yet to be discovered?
- Conversation about legacy at work.
- When this place is not for you I will support you beyond the time that you leave our organization.
- When you enter here we will talk about “how we can rather than what cannot”.
You see relationships are not formed and end in this Human Resource Department just because people sometimes have to leave when things did not work out for the best.
In this HR department it is where the questions of heart and soul are forged and formed into meaningful relationships. In this department we mean it when we say that the most important conversations, and always will be, are about nurturing the souls who come and stay a while, and in some cases much of their life. Some leave to do other work sooner but all will remember us.
My role in Human Resources is to do all of those business strategic things that are part of who I am and what I do to build and create a successful organization, but I never forget that everyone who comes through my door is first and foremost a human being. To be a teacher and educator of hearts and souls.
Most everyone goes away with “homework of the mind” when they leave my office, and we always have another conversation. This is the stuff that turns people into the very best they can be so that in turn our organization becomes the very best we can be.
picture by :rainbow-freak427.deviantart.com
Like building your “football team”.
Your Quarterback is the leader, the Full Back’s responsibilities includes protecting the Quarterback, blocking the opposing players from entering the offense half; the Safety is your last line of defense; the Wide Receiver is fleet of foot.
You need all of these positions (and then some) to make the perfect team.
In building any successful team you have to use their talents in the best way possible. Don’t let half job people slow your business down. Get the right people in the right positions, those who put their heart and soul into what they do!
Observations of an effective team:
- They can make mistakes but they recover from them – Fast.
- They cover each other at all times.
- They care about each other.
- They apologize with sincerity when they make mistakes.
- They understand that it is Ok to agree to disagree; they also understand that the team comes first.
- Everyone has a voice.
- They have developed trust in each other.
- They have a mission.
- They will achieve!
Let your employees talk, if they have a suggestion, hear them out. It gives them self-assurance and a confidence that they are an important part of the organization. You will be thanking them later!
Finding committed/focused team members in your organization is essential. Your success depends on it!
Remember that when you have collected all these skills you have created a sincere, respectful, confident, trusting, and committed group of people with the ability to become a winning team.
A great team develops a rhythm, a confidence, a pace and a winning game plan.
Your next job as a leader is to keep them for others will want them too.
For those who read my blogs one of the highest responses (over 1000 hits) was when I wrote.
“HR folks just don’t get it and it’s getting old!” http://wp.me/pTp83-7b
I also commented recently perhaps harshly that if after 80 years of the profession moving from a welfare and benefits function to a strategic positioning partner we still ponder the need for “HR to have a wake up call” we have simply lost our way.
It’s not just the issues of having, good people who are simply misdirected or misguided in the profession, it’s also the problem of the profession that is encouraging folk to join without a vision of HR themselves.
Am I being harsh? Perhaps. Am I being realistic? You bet.
More importantly am I asking the courageous question? YES.
There are too many folks who want to give answers. That’s the easy part. What are the questions that drive the answers? Too often we talk about re-engineering this or that business process.
Do more with less people, higher quality etc. etc. Old as the hills. Did it make a lasting sustainable stakeholder difference?
We need folks in HR who ask the questions that no one else asks or wants to ask. How do we INCLUSIVELY DRIVE our intentions to the SOUL of the organization and bring life to that SOUL.
It’s tough and we need tough. There is no place in HR for those who say they are all about “the people” when they continue to lay them off or “downsize etc. etc.
Do what I did, I joined an organization and said “we must agree we will never lay anyone off! And that happened!
How? Well let’s say there was no questions or discussions about there being a “ seat at the board table”, or “having a wake up call”, or all that other stuff! It was hard and it was stressful but we did it!
What will your boss miss about you when you leave?
Is it the policies and procedures that you developed, is it the performance management process or succession-planning program…
or is that you were willing to push the tough courageous question and you were prepared to have honest and authentic conversations that made a REAL difference in the lives of those around you? And you never relented.
To have the conversations that has high risk to your own position for the purpose of what your real role in HR is to your organization is what you must do and as much as anything else it challenges whether you do indeed have courage, passion and intent. Look in the mirror and see who you really are.
HRMexplorer August 2012
The LaNC DaSH
Born – Died
Remember you are born with nothing,
And you die with nothing,
So what matters is your DaSH.
Live in grace,
Do not judge or condemn,
Forgive, Impact lives, Listen,
Work hand, Teach, Counsel, Have Vision, Motivate, Volunteer,
Donate, Thank often, Find good in others,
Love, Dream, & Check your heart often.
This is my DaSH, have you thought about yours?
dlanc, making my DaSH count.
What is your daSH? How will you spend your LIfe?
Our names are Doreen and Peter Lanc
Created by SISTER MAE I