Caring does not mean having to take care.
One of those great times we all have with a group of close friends.
Enjoying ourselves, having fun, telling each other fun stories that meander this way and that and then somehow and inevitably lands on a conversation about someone who we know who is having troubled times, someone who meant something to us in the past, perhaps a loved one, or someone who we had a close friendship with.
Then the reflections start. Moments of reflections all of us face. Our conversation becomes a little subdued.
We have all had them and what happens is we STOP doing what our instincts tell us to do. Another instinct kicks in, one that says protect yourself.
We really do care, there is little doubt, the strain on the faces show how much, we want to do something and yet….
Then we feel guilty!
Our mind plays games, we feel we are bad people and it never leaves us.
What if… and will we live to regret it one day when it is too late. Then we will feel awful.
The haunting is:
“I want to care, and I do care but I always end up taking care and I start resenting it. It starts to make me a bad person and that’s not fair.
So now I have to protect myself from doing what I really feel.
We are not bad people because we think like this.